Mars doesn’t want this mom
A couple months ago, Elliot and I saw “Mars Needs Moms,” a Disney movie about two main characters – Milo and his mom. Part of the premise of the film was that the creatures on Mars scouted out Earth using fancy technology to look for the best moms.
Milo’s mom is seen carrying through with her requests for him to take out the garbage and eat his vegetables even when Milo protests. The Martians like her stick-to-it-ive-ness and ability to discipline, so they capture her with the intent to clone her and create nannies for all the little Martians who need moms.
My dad, who also saw the movie with us and Elliot’s cousins, enjoyed the basis of the plot and now frequently jokes about whether or not I’m “going to Mars.” Most days I am convinced that Mars would never want me. Here’s why.
1.) I desert my child every day for eight hours.
2.) I forget Elliot’s breathing medicine at our house about every other time we travel to visit family.
3.) I’m not very creative when it comes to activities to do with Elliot. For example, I struggle to build something – anything! – with blocks.
4.) I never let Elliot mix Play-Doh colors, and I deprive him of other “fun” with all my rules.
5.) Piggybacking on No. 4, we don’t do many messy activities because I’m already a terrible housekeeper. Who’s going to clean up extra mess like finger paints or glue? He gets to do artsy, crafty stuff at day care, right? (See No. 1.)
Well, at least I get to stay on Earth, where Elliot and I can continue to read books, sing songs, experiment with photography and dance in the living room.
Originally published on ovparent.com.